The Thinker: September 2025
Spotlight: Feedback
Article: Giving feedback – do I have to?
Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about the challenge of giving critical feedback. My experience from over 25 years in social work is that many people struggle with providing critical feedback because they don’t want to upset their colleague/supervisee, and they can’t bear the experience of discomfort and potential rupture it evokes in the relationship. When you’re giving feedback to someone who you directly manage, there’s no escaping the power dynamic that comes into play – you’re assuming your “boss” role, and this may not sit easily with those of us who like to lead in a primarily democratic and relational way. Among the many supervisors that I’ve had over the years, three in particular come to mind in relation to how they gave me feedback.
Only positive feedback – “strengths-based”
This was the supervisor who I generally got along really well with, but who couldn’t handle any sort of discomfort without turning it into something personal. So what I got from them was the clear message that our relationship was more important to them than the work being done to the best of my ability.
I got lots of praise and recognition, and when I didn’t do something particularly well, they would leap in to defend me and apportion blame somewhere else so that I felt better. I mean, it was great on the one hand (so safe!)…but I really could have benefited from the opportunity to critically reflect on how I could develop my skills, scaffolded by a supervisor who was willing to guide me and manage their and my discomfort in the experience. Read the rest of the article here.
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Our impact in practice
Fidget tools facilitating attention, reflection and connection
Often when we deliver face-to-face workshops, training and reflective practice groups, we turn up with a bag of what looks like children’s toys - colourful squeezy animals, fidget spinners, shape-shifting toys, balls of various sizes and textures…We put them out on the table and usually get two responses from people: a puzzled, slightly anxious and quizzical look, alongside a delighted “oh I LOVE these things!” and an enthusiastic grabbing onto one of them straight away.
What used to be seen primarily as sensory toys for children with ASD or anxiety issues, are now becoming recognised as universally-useful tools for adults and children alike, which support attention through sensory regulation. Research into the brain shows that the thinking part of our brain (the cortex) is most able to be accessed if the feeling (limbic) and sensing (brainstem/diencephalon) areas are in balance. Fidget toys such as the ones we use at ThinkWell can play a simple but significant role in people using their body (muscles, coordination, pressure) to help them focus, feel grounded, and therefore able to pay attention to higher level reflection, planning, recalling and perspective-taking (important stuff for professionals in high-demand roles!). They also evoke a sense of fun and playfulness in some people, which in turn fosters relational connection and interaction - an important part of that sequence of regulation and focus.
We are mindful that some people don’t engage with these tools, so always leave them out for people to make their own choice - and its fascinating to see which sorts of sensory inputs people prefer! Some people love soft, sqidgy things they can squeeze firmly in their hands, others prefer something that engages their fine motor skills a bit more (like shape-shifters) and these often have a firmer texture. Others love something that they can move repetitively, as rhythmic, repetitive actions are very grounding.
We highly recommend having your own (or a team) sensory kit that can be brought into team meetings, interactions with clients, as well as more formal meetings and round tables. There’s lots of online retailers, and you can also find many of the pictured tools at Kmart.
The brain building bit
Podcast episode: The Art of Giving Feedback
Harvard Business Review (HBR) has a range of different podcasts; two good ones are HBR on Leadership, and Coaching Real Leaders. This episode had some interesting insights about different types of feedback, ensuring that feedback is constructive, prioritising what feedback to give when you have a long list, and making sure that your feedback is heard by the recipient. One of the discussants is a school principal and the ideas for how you schedule and deliver feedback in the context of a time-poor environment were of particular interest.
Checklist: Readiness to give feedback
Brene Brown’s Dare To Lead hub includes this free, downloadable resource - something to prepare supervisors and leaders for the task of a potentially uncomfortable feedback conversation. Access here.
Podcast: Think Again with Beyond Blue
Beyond Blue has launched a podcast, hosted by CEO Georgie Harman AO. The first season focuses on workplace mental health - we love their view that this requires far more than “fruit bowls and yoga”! Click on the link here for more details, and find the podcast in your usual podcase app. Think Again with Beyond Blue.